No kidding, there’s something here for everyone

RANGELY I It’s a bit cliché, perhaps, to claim that a certain attraction or event has “something for everyone.” But some clichés exist because there’s truth behind them, and if Septemberfest can continue to offer the diversity of events it has over the last few years, I say we let the event claim the saying. There really is something for everyone at this not-so-little annual celebration.

Start with Friday: the ATV mud bogs are back for a second straight year for a reason, and even if taking a turn through the course isn’t your thing, you’re welcome to just watch from a mud-flinging-free distance. If staying clean and dry sounds too boring, take a quick jaunt over to the mud tug-of-war, where you’re sure to get in on some serious muddin’ firsthand.
But that’s only the beginning. Saturday’s schedule of events may be the most loaded Septemberfest’s ever seen, with Rodger Polley’s famous Uintah Railroad Tour starting off the day (hint: history buffs must do this day trip). If a lazier day in town is more your speed, simply stroll the Buzzard 5K Walk/Run. That ought to warm you up for your place on the Bulls ‘N’ Bogeys four-person golf scramble, where three legitimate golfers get paired up with a barrel racer, bull rider or contractor.
“But I have children,” you say. “I couldn’t possibly golf for hours and leave the little tykes to wander the back nine, or the front nine, or the only nine at Cedar Ridges!” Thankfully, there’s a solution for that. Simply take them down to the Rangely Police Department bike rally, where helmets are given away, safety tips are liberally dispensed and a couple of the aforementioned tykes actually head home with trikes. Okay, with bikes, but you get the picture.
From there, you can meander over to the Day in the Park events, then change gears for some intense cribbage tourney action (note: it’s important to be able to count to 31). A slight time conflict could occur at this point, unless you’ve set your chili to simmer in preparation for the chili cook off late Saturday afternoon. If you’re no chili chef, never fear: the rec center’s good enough to provide lots of sample-size bowls for your tasting (and judging) pleasure.
Now, if you haven’t read about the Rock ‘N’ Bulls & Barrels competition in this edition of the Herald, turn there right now. If you have, you know that you’ll be seeing some of the meanest, greenest (OK, maybe not the greenest), roughenist toughenist bulls (and riders) around. I know on good authority that head rodeo coach Jed Moore intends to start the event at 7 p.m. “sharp.”
After a day like that, one would understandably need a little break. Luckily, Sunday provides a bit of a respite before Monday’s real celebrations begin. Sunday is ice cream social day, that most beloved of holidays by youth and grownups alike. Once you’re fairly sugared up, it’ll be high time to test your mettle (and your saturation level) at the first annual cardboard boat races (rules and regulations are available at the rec center). Sunday night will be like midsummer all over again, as the town sets off those 4th of July fireworks the fire department’s been itching to get at for two months now. Expect quite a show out at Kenney Reservoir.
And now for the main event … or events, I should say. You wouldn’t dream of missing the fireman’s pancake breakfast, even if it’s hard to get out of bed in the wee hours of the morning. You’ll just have to see how those firefighters have recovered from their jubilation of the night before. Then it’s on to the Do-Da parade, which I’ve never attended but have heard spoken highly of. Best not miss that.
By 10 a.m. things are gearing up at Elks Park, what with the craft fair and car show going on. It’s wise to stake your picnic blanket space early on and to ensure it’s located away from the to and fro of busy shoppers (or droolers, as the case may be closer to the car show). There’s the animal shelter dog show again this year, and I’ll wager there’s a pooch that would fit just right on your La-Z-Boy recliner, or your Persian rug, or your lap. If you’re feeling hunger pangs, you can traipse over to the barbecue in the park, which never disappoints. There’s bluegrass music, and Win It In a Minute challenges, and a lot of goodwill and peace on earth we don’t generally see until Christmas time.
And then it’s back to cutthroat competition again. The Rangely High School Student Council duck race is notorious for being a come-from-behind event, and as another cliché goes, your duck won’t be the underdog if you never purchased an underdog to begin with. (OK, maybe the cliché doesn’t go exactly like that.) The end of a practically perfect weekend for both you and your children happens only by way of a magician and, would you look at that? NAPA Auto Parts has been kind enough to provide our very own magician, who will create that happily ever after for us.
So is Septemberfest cliché? Not really. It just gave us an excuse to write something silly. Is Septemberfest fun? You betcha.