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When I became the sole resident of my household for the first time in 30 years one of the tasks I tackled was a stringent decluttering of my kitchen, including the silverware drawer. No need to keep multiple mismatched sets of forks, knives, and spoons lying around for one human’s use, I reasoned, and whittled the contents of that drawer down to one (mostly) matched set.
With nearly two years of living with this pared down cutlery collection, I’ve come to the conclusion that the spoons really do run off with the dishes. (Although my dishes aren’t missing, so maybe modern spoons run off with those cheap plastic containers that left their lids behind… there’s an analogy there to be explored, but not here).
Never is there a shortage of butter knives. There’s always one handy for using as a flathead screwdriver in a pinch. And the only time all the forks go missing is when I’ve refused to wash dishes for a few days or when my kids/grandkids come over. But the spoons? Where do they even go? It’s a mystery likely to remain unsolved, but it brings up a topic that’s relevant this time of year.
If you’ve ever suffered from chronic pain or illness, or had to recover from surgery or a serious injury, you may have heard of “spoon theory.” In this informal theory, spoons represent little scoops of energy. Everything we need to do in a day requires a certain number of spoons. Because pain and illness take up a lot of spoons on their own, you have to ration your spoons throughout the day. For example, you might have enough to get through the work day, but not enough to go out with friends in the evening.
According to the theory, healthy people have an unlimited number of spoons and therefore, unlimited amounts of energy. On that point I disagree. No one has an unlimited number of spoons. Demands on our time, the state of our mental health, life’s traumas and crises, extra responsibilities, even current events impact how many spoons we have access to. For the mother of a newborn with a toddler and a first grader at home, all her spoons likely go to keeping those little people safe and fed. A high-value project might use up most of your spoons every day for a while. Even if you’re retired, volunteer activities or caring for family members can use up more spoons than you realize.
So, as you’re polishing the silverware in preparation for your annual Thanksgiving feast, ask yourself where your spoons are. Not the ones in the drawer, the ones you’re expending, particularly during the holiday season when there are extra demands on your spoon collection. Are you trading spoons that are essential for your mental, emotional, physical or spiritual well-being to appease some external obligation imposed by friends, family or societal expectations? Take a lesson from spoon theory… it’s OK to guard your spoons. It’s OK to save them for the really important things that matter to you. And it’s OK if someone in your life tells you they’ve run out of spoons and need to say no to an invitation. Don’t take it personally. It’s just spoons.
By NIKI TURNER – editor@editorht1885.com
