When did it become socially acceptable to blame others for our own bad behavior? I know that it erupts in the privacy of our homes, as starting a family and raising children is stressful. It usually produces parents who lean on what they learned from their closest role models. No one can deny that parents or caregivers serve as their children’s teachers and work hard to show children how best to interact with others. Remaining calm, yet staying in control, is essential. The latest problem of going out into public spaces is everyone’s lack of control over escalating violence. It continues to be acknowledged by the increasing reports of flagrant rule-breaking on social media, television and radio. Most children eventually learn that bickering and arguing should never cross over to rude and offensive displays of anger.
No matter how hard each child’s family tries to make sure the children in their care learn these important lessons, it is never enough to keep some kids from “acting-out” no matter where they grow up. So much of the family’s influence on children is diluted by their experiences in school. This seems to be safety first. Little by little, they may lose any ability to accept any kindness, viewing someone’s attempt to befriend them as a threat. Maintaining one’s health by scrounging for food is the second lesson. Teachers soon discover which students haven’t brought a paper bag lunch or money for lunch. They catch a glimpse of each child’s flagging energy and inability to concentrate and focus. If that child has missed breakfast or does not have money for a hot lunch after their backpack has been searched, it becomes apparent someone needs to check with the principal immediately to see if they have been overlooked by the safety net in place in most educational institutions these day.
During the pandemic and recent surges of the variants of the original novel coronavirus, often just referred to as Covid-19, our children have lost irretrievable time spending time away from home in school. This will ensure that we all get better at taking a closer look at our particular school district, as it will require that everyone becomes more aware of the difficulties faced by families. Truancy rates from remote rural schools, as well as economically strapped towns and cities, guarantee this will remain a serious problem nationally. Poor results in yearly testing are increasing at a rapid pace as reported by school districts that haven’t been able to offer computers or WiFi connections. Children are masters at hiding their deficiencies and disabilities and their school and home experiences have taught them that they must consider staying under the radar. One small misstep has always been followed by threats and violence.
In addition, now that our social interactions seem to be resuming in public places, everyone has become complacent about acting inappropriately while participating in remote work or school sessions. The majority of us have spent too much time sitting in front of a computer. The despised classroom bullies are reappearing in both our work and living spaces. Now that we are spending increasing amounts of time on the computer, digital distress signals should send users a signal that warns everyone when a seemingly casual friendly conversation flares into unstoppable conflagration. A fire emoji or meme will work perfectly. We cannot hide behind our old bad habits when it comes to stopping this type of behavior, no matter what. “Burn, baby, burn,” one of my generation’s favorite time-worn phrases in the freewheeling ‘60s, needs to be mothballed with all the past solutions to achieve social justice for anyone.
By DOLLY VISCARDI – Special to the Herald Times
