I almost missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day! I was at the Meeker Library looking over Mike’s shoulder when a banner flashed across his screen. It read, “National Talk Like a Pirate Day, Sept. 19.” Yes, it was another one of those faux holidays. Thousands of these “National Days” have popped up obscuring the really important ones like National Donut Day, my favorite. Apparently two guys in Oregon had nothing better to do than communicate all day in 1995 with phrases ending in ARRRGH. The joke grew each year to include many of their friends. In 2002 they asked newspaper columnist Dave Barry to become a spokesman for a fake Talk Like A Pirate Day. He wrote a column and launched it into national prominence. Now we have an excuse for odd people dressing up in black, putting on an eye patch, attaching a stuffed parrot on their shoulders and saying “shiver me timbers,” which means nothing to me at all.
Real seagoing pirates have been around since second century China, but the accepted Golden Age of Pirates is about 1650-1730. Maritime shipping between Europe, the American colonies and the Caribbean islands was active and vulnerable. Trade ships were easy prey for well-armed pirate ships captained by pirates like Edward Teach, known as Blackbeard. Legend has it that he tied lit fuses into strands of his beard before battle. His battle flag had a skeleton holding a spear. Pirates were outlaws, capturing cargo, robbing passengers, and generally not nice people. The sentence for pirating was public hanging. The label “privateer” was the same job, only it had the sanction of government during war. They had a commission that encouraged attacking merchant ships flying the enemy’s flag. I doubt the privateers were any more selective than pirates, but fencing the loot was easier in the right ports. Fictional pirates have become popular. The book “Treasure Island” was published in 1883 and adapted by Disney in film and eventually inspired the Disneyland attraction, “Pirates of the Caribbean.” The ride was updated in 1997, removing some politically incorrect aspects. I have to stop and ponder: why bother trying to make a bloodthirsty, pillaging, lawless pirate politically correct? It updated again in 2006 to incorporate Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack character.
Of course, what would Peter Pan be without his adversary Captain Hook? Dustin Hoffman made the best Captain Hook, I think. Next year, let’s all celebrate National Talk Like a Pirate Day. We can have a party with a cheese ball shaped like a cannon ball, served up on “Polly-wanna-cracker” Ritz crackers. Maybe we can make someone walk the plank into Lake Avery. However, that could disturb some fisherman who might be using the Captain’s hook.
By ED PECK – Special to the Herald times
