“He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” ~ Frederick Nietzsche
Have you ever gotten angry because of someone’s rudeness, misbehavior, or bullying, only to find yourself being rude, misbehaving and bullying back in response? Like when a three-year-old throws a tantrum over not getting their way or being told to do something they don’t want to do, and you suddenly find yourself having an adult-sized tantrum to match?
I put myself in a grown-up time-out a few weeks ago. I had to take a few deep breaths and remember that as the adult in the room, I have more emotional tools in my toolbox than the three-year-old, and I should be setting a better example of self-control.
Do you ever wonder what happened to those people who loudly proclaim and condemn the wrongdoings of others only to be exposed as secret partakers in those same wrongs? Are they merely cheap hypocrites, or did they spend so much time and attention on the abyss the abyss got into them? I suspect in most cases it’s the latter.
When we focus on the negative, the horrific, the overwhelming darkness of the abyss, we put ourselves at risk of becoming the very things we oppose and despise.
There’s a lot of hateful negativity and oppressive control and intimidation tactics out there clamoring for our attention, itching for us to engage in battle. The internet, TV and radio have given rude people whose presence we would never tolerate in our homes a virtual seat at our tables (and our attention). Fixating on the abyss makes it worse, and the monsters thrive on our energy and attention.
Feeling overwhelmed and like you might be about to pitch a fit? Take a time-out from the trolls, the adult-sized toddlers, and the terror. Breathe, remind yourself that the only thing you have control over is yourself, and locate your internal peace and balance. Repeat as needed. Who said time-outs were just for children?