“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning”
I came across this parable months ago, lost it, and just found it again. It comes in various iterations and has been attributed to different sources. It goes something like this:
A traveler was walking towards a town when he met an old man sitting by the side of the road. The traveler asked the old man, “What is the town ahead like?”
The old man replied, “What was the town like where you came from?”
The traveler said, “It was terrible. The people were unfriendly, rude, and dishonest. I couldn’t wait to leave.”
The old man nodded and said, “You will find the same here.”
A little while later, another traveler approached the old man and asked the same question. The old man again replied, “What was the town like where you came from?”
The second traveler said, “It was wonderful. The people were kind, helpful, and trustworthy. I was sad to leave.”
The old man smiled and said, “You will find the same here.”
The moral of the story is that our experiences are often shaped by our attitudes and perspectives. If we expect to find good, we will see good; if we expect to find bad, we will see bad.
How many of us moaned and groaned about the town we grew up in only to reach adulthood and realize we had no idea how good we had it and wish we could go back? How many of us have moved, or changed jobs, or partners, or religions, only to find all the same woes follow us to the next person, place or thing. Why? Because wherever you go, there you are.
You could put it this way, too: “We are what we eat.” If your information diet is full of the incessant negativity and complaints of Traveler #1, that attitude is contagious. Before long, all that fear and whining and blaming will rub off on our own perspective and we’ll find ourselves joining the pity party, forgetting the things that are good, positive and beneficial in our lives, our town, our nation and the world.
Even in the midst of trouble — and there’s always trouble somewhere — we can look for the good. Does that mean we’re blind to things that need changed? No, but it does mean we approach problems from a different perspective, one that’s stronger than being angry and fearful and sad.
If we want something to change, we have to start from within. Happiness is an inside job, not an external circumstance.
