“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1
I’ve kept a lot of plates spinning for a long time, through good times and bad, through sorrow and joy, through praise and criticism (sometimes all at once). Over the last 10 years I’ve lost a son, gone through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, learned more about mental illness and the court system than I ever wanted to know, lost four dogs, welcomed three more grandchildren for a total of seven, returned to college to finally finish my bachelor’s degree, celebrated five years of sobriety, and bought a thrift store.
And that’s just the personal side.
Professionally, it’s been 10 years of award-winning reporting on local government, elections, COVID-19, wildfires and everything else this remarkable county has thrown our way, while helping keep a 141-year-old community newspaper alive every single week.
It’s been a wild ride.
Now, as surely as the first frost and the turning of the leaves each fall, the forces of change have caught up with me. I can’t ignore them, deny them, outrun them or bargain with them any longer.
Beginning next week, I’ll be taking an extended leave of absence.
Co-owner—and daughter—Caitlin will be taking the reins. I couldn’t have made it through the last decade without her, and I know the newspaper will be in exceptionally capable hands. There is an incredible amount of peace in knowing I can hand her the baton with complete confidence that she’ll do an even better job than I ever could.
My parents, both 79, need help that I simply can’t provide while I’m locked into the daily grind of the newspaper business. My dad is the sole caregiver for my mom, who is in home hospice. There are practical matters to take care of, difficult decisions ahead and precious time I don’t want to miss. I’m grateful I have the opportunity to step away and be present. Not everyone gets that chance.
I’m also terrified.
In those same 10 years, I’ve taken a grand total of two weeks of vacation. The newspaper has been my security blanket—my proverbial binkie—through some very dark nights of the soul. As every good workaholic knows, work is a marvelous distraction.
Until it isn’t.
Until the plates start crashing to the floor and you have to grudgingly admit that you cannot do all the things and do them well at the same time.
The hardest part about life’s changing seasons isn’t the season itself. It’s the resistance we put up against unavoidable change. The tighter we cling to what was, the more painful the transition becomes. Acceptance isn’t giving up; it’s making room for what comes next. For me, that’s an act of faith.
The months ahead won’t be easy. Some things are going to hurt. Some losses are unavoidable. Fighting reality won’t change any of that—it only makes the burden heavier. So I’m choosing to let go of what has made me feel safe, trust the people around me and step into whatever this next season has in store.
Prayers are appreciated.
I’ll still be around. I’ll still be involved with this community and with the Herald Times, just on a different scale. I have complete faith in Caitlin, Jared and Emily. This newspaper isn’t just going to continue—it is going to thrive and flourish.
It’s time to pass the torch, and I couldn’t be more excited to see where they take it.
“Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.” ~ Bilbo
Love and gratitude to you all.