Our White River Museum has a room full of tools. OK … some of them we call kitchen appliances, but they are still tools. I believe the first tool a man ever used was a rock. He used it as a hammer to crack open acorns and walnuts and dispatch sabretooth tigers. The invention of the hammer also gave birth to language. Men still use the same sounds to react to a smashed thumb.
Man’s obsession with better tools continues today with reruns of Tim the Tool Man using power tools to build just about anything with wood. I particularly enjoy watching the episode where Jill’s garbage disposal acts up and Tim takes the day to “improve” it. The result was a disposal that devoured small tree limbs like a woodchipper.
Every surgeon has a set of special tools. Most of his machines are too big to be toted around. Things have progressed a bit since the old doctor’s bag which ‘Doc’ on Gunsmoke always carried around in his buggy. The old-time doctors would reach into a small bag and retrieve a tool to pull teeth, remove bullets from Matt, deliver babies, dispense quinine, treat fevers, and cure the vapors.
Even with all the specialized medical tools used today, every neurologist has a tool to strike the sensitive nerve just below our kneecap. It probably has a long Latin word to describe it, but it is still a fancy hammer. Hence, the expression: knee-jerk reaction. I don’t know why we call it knee-jerk. Really, it’s my foot that jerks out almost involuntarily to kick a vulnerable spot on the doctor.
We used to have mechanics who worked on horseless carriages, replaced drive chains, adjusted brake rods, and replaced the leather that served as crankshaft bearings in engines. We don’t have mechanics anymore. They are called technicians with $20,000 electronic diagnostic boxes. Guess what? Every one of these college-educated techs has at least three hammers in his or her toolbox.
Engineers on steam trains had enormous, long wrenches to tighten nuts and bolts on the drive rods. Steam engines were the high-tech industry of their era. These same engineers had one tool they used every day: a hammer! It was their most important diagnostic tool. Every time the locomotive came to rest for an extended period, workers would take hammers and strike vulnerable wear points and bearings. A trainman quickly learned the ring of metal on metal. A change in tone could mean a loose nut or an invisible crack in a casting.
Carpenters these days have nail guns to speed things along and occasionally shoot a nail in their foot. They still swing framing hammers! Hammers don’t depend on lithium batteries or cords. Every blacksmith and farrier has their favorite hammer.
Every homeowner has at least four hammers… somewhere! Whenever we need a hammer, it can’t be found in any toolbox, drawer, or shelf in the garage or kitchen. They disappear as quickly as a ferret. I have a sign in my garage declaring that 75% of my time there is spent looking for the tool I just had in my hand five minutes ago. I gave up looking for a hammer to encourage that cotter pin into a tight hole. So, I did what men have been doing for centuries and improvised. For the record, pliers, screwdrivers, wrenches, shoe heels, and rocks can be used as hammers. We have come a long way from the Neanderthals.
By ED PECK
