“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” is a familiar phrase attributed to Grantland Rice.
In the aftermath of the Olympics and on behalf of all athletes, it’s timely to consider how we view winners and losers. We Americans feel strongly about winning and pride of first place.
A first-place finish always feels great. And heaven knows we’re more cheerful fans when our children’s teams win, or the Broncos at least make the playoffs, and our local high school sports teams return home with smiles and pride. Of course, we are proud of the winners.
But we are also proud of all those who put heart, soul, and endless hours of practice into their sport. Think about it. The vast majority of athletes do not win medals, ribbons or accolades. Many competed knowing they didn’t have the skills or experience to place first, but they showed up and represented their team, school or country.
Instead of beating up the USA Olympic athletes because our country didn’t get the most medals and Mikala Shiffrin unexpectedly fell on many of her ski runs, let’s cheer their grit and determination.
A friend of mine has a niece who competed in skiing and placed 21st. She didn’t make the TV broadcast late at night, but the important thing is she was there, representing our country. Even traveling to the Olympics without family presence, dealing with all the COVID protocols, and being locked down instead of touring anywhere was its own test of fortitude.
I loved our son’s high school cross country competitions. As a parent, I got to be outside, walk around the course (instead of sitting on hard stands) then head to the finish line. The best part was that every runner was cheered as s/he crossed the finish line, whether as the speedy best or the struggling last competitor. The crowd always stayed and clapped for every student, first or last from every school.
As well, I am always encouraged to see competitors shake hands at the end of a game. Yes, this is often a requirement and pro forma “good game.” But it still represents behavior of dignity, respect and self-control even in the face of losing. It sets an example for all of us about pride, win or lose.
Then there’s the whole topic of playing by the rules. In all sports, cheaters are banned and in the end, the final score is accepted by all. In golf, there’s a phrase “play the ball where it lies.” That means if your ball ends up behind a tree or in thick grass, you don’t cheat and move it to a better position. Dealing with adversity is the hallmark of a great athlete.
I do realize at all levels of sports, bending of the rules, inflating footballs, recruiting unfairly, enticing young competitors with promises of lavish treats, and much more goes on every year. And, I am always astonished to see what coaches get paid, especially at our public universities.
To me, there is no excuse for these infractions and especially the presence of drugs in any athlete. The entire saga of Russian skater Kamila Valieva is now a worldwide story of cheating. Just 15 years old, this highly talented athlete was not properly protected by her coaches who should have withdrawn her based on positive drug tests.
As well, the Olympic Committee didn’t stand by its own drug abuse rules and forbid some competitors while allowing others. Of course, every Olympic athlete past and present should complain and we other countries should protest.
It seems highly unlikely to me that a very young competitor with so much at stake, as in winning the coveted women’s gold medal in skating, would knowingly put herself at risk. Nothing could be more punishing than watching her fall several times in her final performance and then endure her coach’s critique on live television.
I am sad for her anguish and to watch an extremely capable athlete unable to perform at her best. But, the rules apply to everyone and positive dope testing is a standard for every country and every athlete.
Years ago, when our oldest son participated in tae-kwon-do lessons, including the competitions, I said to another mother, I think he is learning as much about losing as winning. Indeed, he earned his fair share of medals and trophies. But more importantly, the head master always sent a message to everyone, “it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”
A timely message for all of us, athletes or not.
By KAYE SULLIVAN – Special to the Herald Times
