The recent much publicized event of Will Smith smacking Chris Rock at the televised Oscar awards show is a sad reminder of the degree to which our society has lost the norms of respect and civility.
To me, both men were wrong, but we should be able to learn from this sad, contentious event.
It is not OK to make fun of other people’s appearance or health status. For example, you would not poke fun at a woman’s hair loss caused by chemo treatments. We don’t jeer at bald men or those guys with obvious bald spots.
It’s tasteless and rude to joke about other people without considering their feelings and reactions. Some people seem to think it is funny to pick on, poke at, and irritate others to get a rise out of them. Something that is humorous to these folks can be very painful to others.
Rude Facebook comments are especially out of control without people having to take responsibility for their offensiveness. Whether it is presidential debates, public media, or Hollywood stars, respect is always called for.
Chris Rock, you were wrong to make a joke about a woman’s health and baldness. I bet if someone picked on your wife in a similar way, you would be upset too.
But, Will Smith, you were wrong also to respond with violence. If we all went around punching folks in the face when they offended us, we would have bloody noses most of the time.
Public displays of violence send the wrong message to everyone and especially our children. You famous entertainers and athletes are supposed to be role models, not make disrespect and violence seem acceptable. Just because you have wealth, status, and handsome clothes doesn’t excuse you from behaving civilly.
I do understand that having one’s spouse humiliated in public and on television would upset any of us. In the heat of the moment, it would be hard to curb those instant, angry reactions. To pretend like it didn’t hurt or offend would not be authentic.
And, I don’t believe people should get away with offensive communications without being held accountable. But, please don’t hit people to try to resolve the situation.
My hope is that somehow, we can all regain a degree of respect and civility. Whether that’s the pointed comments in Herald Times Letters to the Editor, county commissioner meetings, political races, angry Facebook posts, or ugly public behavior, I think we can do better.
Civility occurs by demonstrating it in our own behavior and holding others to standards of respectful behavior at all times. Being polite is always a choice even when it is hard to do.
By KAYE SULLIVAN – Special to the Herald Times
