“You are really getting up there” is the kind of comment no one really wants to hear, unless you are still a child eagerly awaiting the next birthday. As long as it is said as a joke, it is accepted as a well-meant reminder. Children and adults alike learn quickly to toss in a quick “just kidding” comment to ease the sting.
Most of us seem to be able to get away with this friendly jibe, but using a dismissive tone conveys much more than simply saying happy birthday. It is meant to express surprise that the your birthdays are still coming particularly fast, furiously, and arriving at the appointed date. The way people treat their own birthdays is sometimes the best indicator of how they view birthdays in general. They could dread the celebration of one more turning of the year (or screw) as they see it.
It is often more of a mean-spirited way to express one’s astonishment at how many years have passed. Our common response to these annual celebrations as we all get older is to diminish the significance in general. A great number of older folks tell their close friends and family that they do not celebrate birthdays anymore.
We all have them. We all treat them differently as we age. Most of us remain fully aware that time marches on, so we might not want a specific reminder that the years are piling up. Yet, there are others among us who will take every opportunity to celebrate that special event ahead or behind of the actual date of their birth. A few of us seem to take every opportunity to continue to make a yearly celebration fresh. The ongoing trend of making an individual bucket list before our own birthdays end gives everyone a chance to celebrate living life in a positive way without tying it to a certain age.
Even the most “negative Nelly or Nate” has been offered an acceptable outlet for a different type of birthday. Positivity and negativity aside, it is one way of looking at life in a more light-hearted way.
Life can be a constant tease as well. A negative view about birthday celebrations makes no one happy. Taking the black balloons and jokey gifts too seriously is worse for us than the actual aging process. Becoming ultra-sensitive about one’s age as time goes by is no good for anyone. Bucket list disbelievers need to try it out sometime. We can all learn from the more optimistic, hopeful individuals around us. Join the contingent of folks who model kindness and consideration to others as they “fill their own buckets.” Let’s wish a happy belated birthday to everybody this year.
By DOLLY VISCARDI
