A shifty looking guy in a kilt walks into a London pub, orders a pint, and very carefully puts down the plastic bag he was carrying. The suspicious barkeeper asks, “What’s that?” The Scotsman answers, “Six pounds of explosives.” The barkeeper replies with obvious relief. “Thanks goodness, I thought it might be bagpipes.”
A man writes to DEAR ABBY: My bagpipes have a hole. How do I fix it? ABBY: Scotch tape of course. The…