Grief is a very complex thing, especially for a child. In my own childhood, I experienced several losses and struggled immensely with processing them. This is not a unique experience – children lose loved ones every day. However, it is very difficult for a child to process such a devastating event. Grief never really goes away: dauntingly enough, we just have to learn how to cope with it.
From July 14-16 this year, Camp Cedaredge hosted Camp Good Grief. HopeWest organized Camp Good Grief for children ages 8-14 with the purpose of teaching them how to manage their grief in healthy ways. Forty children attended camp this year, while I and 39 others volunteered. Similar to the HopeWest Cowboys program, Camp Good Grief placed young campers with a “buddy” for one-on-one support and divided the campers by age group. I went to Camp Good Grief as a teen volunteer because buddies need to be at least 18 years old. As a teen volunteer, I helped the facilitators organize group activities, bonded with everyone in the group, and gained a rather unique perspective of how to create a space for grief.
I have an intense love for volunteer work; especially the work I have done for HopeWest. While I’ve worked with them before, Camp was unlike any other experience I’ve had. I find volunteer work so rewarding because it feels amazing to give back to the world and leave it a better place. I imagined myself leaving Camp Good Grief with that same feeling of satisfaction from doing good by others as always. Shock caught me when I left Camp. This volunteer activity rendered me quite differently.
At Camp, we focused heavily on creating a space for grief. An important part of creating a safe space for grief includes a healthy group dynamic. Without disclosing any personal information, I will say the campers formed close bonds prior to discussing their grief. They gained an understanding of each other and allowed us to gain an understanding of them: a sacred privilege that is essential for such emotional vulnerability. Quite literally, we provided space. The kids spoke about their grief, and we listened.
I watched many campers fall onto a cushion of relief upon being heard. They spoke, and we listened. An exchange of knowledge took place. The campers learned about grief, and I learned about the beauty of human connection.
Often, we as fellow humans feel a need to jump to the rescue and “fix” things. With grief, this isn’t necessarily the case. Access to resources to gain positive coping skills to help us with grief is crucial, and having a safe space to feel our grief aids with this immensely. This stuck out to me, and I understood why it was so important. I am 17 years old and crossing the bridge into adulthood, and I remember being the different ages of many of the campers present. When you’re a kid (and even when you’re 17), adults love giving you unsolicited life advice. That is not what kids always need. Sometimes kids just need to feel seen and heard. I gained more emotional intelligence from a group of the sweetest, most empathetic campers and buddies over that weekend than I ever have at any other point in my life. Kids know so much, and it is really valuable to stop and just listen to what they have to say. Their thoughts and feelings add a greater layer of depth to life.
I believe that grief never truly leaves. We have to learn to accommodate our grief, but we don’t have to learn to do so alone. I have been deeply changed and renewed as a person through witnessing the power of human connection and how simple silence can help a person.
Interested in volunteering for HopeWest? Reach out to Lisa Ortner at [email protected] or 970-257-2376.
By OPAL MUNGER
Special to the Herald Times
