MEEKER | In a weird way, the pandemic has become a triggering event to work on my will. Talk about another way to pass shelter at home time! It is lots of work plus digging into emotions about death and material possessions.
The news reminds me every day that I am part of the senior group, more at risk and more likely to infect others. But for any of us, the stealthy virus can attack without warning or time to prepare.
I have been advised many times before about writing wills, informing children, filing a DNR (do not resuscitate), and leaving things easy for my inheritors. I learned recently that giving access to somebody to close your social media accounts is vital, otherwise Facebook will keep posting as though you are alive. Ick. Better get on that too.
Like many of us, I have my excuses. I expect my two children to split 50/50 – very easy. I am healthy. My Dad lived to age 91 and my mom, at age 96 is still alive, so I have great genes and should expect to live another 20 years. Still, leaving children with no documentation or authorization is not responsible, so here we go.
I have observed plenty of families fight over inheritance, even engage in legal battles. I don’t expect my sons to fight just as I don’t anticipate my siblings disputing. Yet, I know I need to provide a legal document to support my son’s inheritance.
I have learned from other deaths that when predecessors leave few guidelines or “I don’t care” messages, dealing with death is even more bewildering and difficult for those left behind who have to handle it.
I am plowing through legal will forms, (a do it yourself effort for me), trying to select my favorite hymns for a memorial service, updating my passwords, authorizing financial organizations to provide access to my sons, and creating a document of advice for disposing of household possessions. And along with leaving a list of passwords, including a paragraph that authorizes access to your digital assets (computer, phone, etc.)
I had a very unfriendly online experience with Social Security to authorize my husband and sons to manage my account. I dread upcoming task to get Verizon to allow phone access to my inheritors when they barely recognize me, after some 15 years of being a customer.
This will writing thing is not so easy and every step begets more steps.
Upcoming will be a very difficult phone call with my sons to explain why I am sending them these documents now. I don’t want to cause them more worries or think “Mom is falling apart” so will have to craft communications very carefully.
I am not an attorney, medical or financial expert who might well offer different thoughts. But, if you don’t have a will or DNR, I encourage you to spend time working on them now while we are quarantined.
I am committed to getting all this will stuff done soon, archived, uploaded, downloaded, authorized, or whatever. I am ready to enjoy spring and work in my garden.
By KAYE SULLIVAN | Special to the Herald Times
