Today, I was on a mission to mail a birthday card to my friend, Clare, regardless of snowy roads and snow-covered vehicle. Why the urgency one may ask?
Clare has been a friend for over 50 years, since we were freshmen in college. Over all that time, she always remembered my birthday and sent me a card. Further, the cards always include a breezy note of news from her life. And, her cards were always on time.
Even now with email, she prefers handwritten messages over cool and aloof electronic news. So, I did my best to write a personal message (not too much interesting news in my life right now) to be included with her card.
Somehow this got me thinking about friendships and what causes them to be so special. I’m still thinking, but came up with a few key characteristics.
Endurance – friendships continue over time and distance. On the rare occasions I get to be with my college friends in person, the conversation picks right up as though we were back in our dorm rooms. Now we stay in touch via email and occasional phone calls.
Thoughtfulness – my local friends bring us food when we are ill and over the past two years, they have been feeding us lots! Friends empathize and find a way to help make me feel loved, which is especially important when you are sick.
Outreach – Yesterday I received a comforting phone call from a Denver friend catching up on the status of a dreadful back surgery I may have to undergo. Friends anticipate your anxiety and reach out to comfort even before life gets more difficult.
Consistency – My sister calls me almost weekly to catch up on both the big and trivial news. Since she is in Florida and I’m 3,000 miles away, we rarely see each other. Local friends and I catch up over weekly lunches or local outings. Friends stay in touch.
Acceptance – Friends listen when you are frustrated and need to download your emotions. They give you space to express your true emotions without judgment. When you’re crabby or depressed, friends stand by you.
Humor – One of my circles of friends texts frequently. These are brief snippets of life across five Colorado towns, but usually include some humorous gifs or quotes or stories. We can laugh together even though we’re not in the same physical space.
I hope you have many great friends and that you invest time in maintaining these relationships. Here’s to friends!
By KAYE SULLIVAN
