Begin to ask yourself, with lots of curiosity and little judgment, ‘why am I doing this?’ So much learning in that one practice.
~ Maurice Moe Mitchell
There’s a lot to unpack in that little quote.
Much of what we do on a daily basis is mechanical or habitual, whether it’s taking out the trash or checking email or small talk in the checkout line. They’re actions so familiar and repetitive we don’t even think about them, or why we do them.
In the case of bad habits, or patterns we’d like to change, or things we do just for the sake of doing them, asking ourselves “why” can refocus and reframe our perspective. Asking “why” can give us the internal reboot we need to make desired changes.
It’s important to ask that question, as Mitchell said, with “lots of curiosity and little judgment.” Instead of beating ourselves up for doing or saying something (or procrastinating, or avoiding), we can look at ourselves and our actions as if we’re the narrator in our own story. No criticism, no shaming, just asking why and being open to the answers that come.
The answers have been repeatedly surprising as I’ve tried putting this into practice. Why am I eating that third spoonful of cookie butter at 10 p.m.? I’m not hungry, I’m tired. (Also, if you haven’t discovered the minor miracle that is “speculous cookie butter” I highly recommend it.) This morning I asked myself why I was taking out the trash. Seems silly and obvious, but just asking myself the question made me realize I was completely zoned out and unaware of my surroundings, caught up in rumination and hurrying on to the next task.
Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for asking “why” hundreds of times a day, often enough to drive their parents to distraction. Why is the sky blue? Why do dogs have fur? They don’t care much about the answer, the question is more important. It’s possible those little ones know something we have forgotten in our “maturity.” Sometimes “why” is the most important question, and sometimes the answer pulls back the curtain on a previously unseen solution to a problem
By NIKI TURNER – editor@editorht1885.com