Dear Editor:
Oh, the tangled web we weave. We try to do the best thing possible for our children and grandchildren. Whether it be sports, dance or academic advancements. But we as a society are still failing the children.
When it comes to a child stating there is an issue, something they are confused about or worried about we don’t always listen carefully enough. Or if it a child’s word against an adult, too many are quick to stand behind the adult. When it comes to abuse, whether it be physical, emotional or sexual, too many children are falling through the cracks. Not enough of these children are getting the help they need.
Yes, it is an embarrassing subject for the family. But sweeping the issue under the rug and dealing with it only within the family is not giving the victim the resources they need to achieve a successful future as an adult. Mainly because we are not trained to handle or understand all that goes through the mind of a victim. Many blame themselves or are treated as though it is their fault, they did something wrong. Many will turn to destructive behavior as a result of not having somewhere to place their guilt and shame.
And the victims of the abuse are not necessarily the only victims. As adults close communication with one another and try to quiet or hush the shame, they teach their children how to close communication with family members as well. This can and usually results in smear campaigns between family members, ugly hateful and hurtful things that reach well within the fabric of the family. Many lives are altered and forever set on questionable paths.
Hind sight is 20/20. I unfortunately have made some of these mistakes. There has to be a way to undo some of the damage to those that sustained injury during this horrendous battle. Maybe it is talking to a trusted professional to help make sense of what seems totally senseless to have happened. Maybe it’s understanding why. Maybe it’s understanding we all have issues that bring out the most combative part of us, trying to defend those we feel have been wronged. Maybe it is being open and honest and loving those that hurt.
Even though we ourselves can’t necessarily say the right things to a victim to help them heal, it is within all of us to guide a victim to safety and authorities that can help them. If you ever get the feeling or suspicion that something is wrong, or a child trusts you enough to tell you their fears. Act on it, don’t let them fight the battle alone. It can be an ugly road you are opening up, but if we can save a child we are saving our future.
Casey and Rebecca Gilbert
“Gramps and Becca”
Meeker
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