Letter: Rare birds disappear from Rangely home

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Police need your help in solving the mysterious disappearance of four of Rangely’s newest community members: Flo, Mingo, Frankie and Gracie. These four individuals, after carefully considering many other communities, recently decided to make Rangely their permanent home. This small and welcoming community, with a sign reading “Rangely — A Great Place to Live,” seemed to be the perfect place for them to settle down and raise their families. Back in the early spring they hired a local contractor to begin building their dream home. This little creche had been busy impressing passersby with their daily rituals of head-flagging, wing salutes, twist-preening, and marching about their precious new home. After surviving the recent oil spill, hurricanes and flooding in their native habitat, they felt that their luck had finally been turned around and they were considering inviting more of their family to join them.
But members of this community were not as caring as they first believed. People began driving by and screaming bird calls at them. They were jaunted and jeered as being plastic transplants, wire-legged freaks, and pink gossip-mongers among other unprintable names. Though they were down-in-the-beak about this, they decided to continue to try and make the town a brighter, colorful place.
Now, despite their best efforts, they have been abruptly uprooted from the place they chose to call home. First, Flo was kidnapped from her nest sometime during early morning hours of May 20 and the very next night Mingo, Frankie and Gracie disappeared. An ornithologist was called in by the police department to assess the situation. He concluded that they were abducted as they have very few natural enemies, none of which reside in this county. The police department launched an all-beak bulletin for the four and an intensive search has begun. Police fear the worst in this case but those closest to them remain hopeful that this kidnapping can be resolved and this traumatic experience can be put to rest for these four peaceful, kindhearted individuals.
The searchers have conducted several inspections at the homes of persons of interest and are pursuing all leads. If you have any information pertaining to their disappearance, please contact Aviation Kidnappers Anonymous or simply return them to their perch — lots of questions will be asked.
We, as a community, need to come together to help bring Flo, Mingo, Frankie and Gracie back to their homestead and show the rest of the world that we are “A Great Place to Live.”
Update: As of May 25, Flo, Mingo and Frankie have been returned to their beloved home. Gracie has been returned to a different site but we are in the process of convincing her to go home as well. All reported being publicly humiliated by their captures — poor Mingo even lost his legs in the ordeal, although he is taking it quite well — and all are expected to completely recover. We would like to thank all of those who helped bring them home.
The Rock Park curators
aka Bud Striegel