Dear Editor:
Why? Why should I, or you, say thank you? After all they are just doing their job. They are getting paid for what they do every day. No thanks are necessary. Some are paid awfully well too. Like doctors and nurses. Some like store clerks and truck drivers are not paid so well. But that is not the point.
In our society we put a lot of value on money. How much are you worth? What do the numbers on your paycheck add up to? Is that what your life is worth? Is it worth as much as the car in your driveway?
There is a lot that money can’t buy. It can’t buy the feelings that come with thank you. A couple of weeks ago my wife was at Watts picking up some groceries. It was at the end of the day and the COVID-19 thing was ramping up. The shelves were about half bare. She said thank you to the check out clerk. It was a momentary show stopper. The clerk said that was the first thank you she had gotten that day. How many happy, smiling, grumpy coughing and sneezing people had she helped that day for one rare “Thank you?” Why do those two little words mean so much?
Could it be that “thanks” pays the debts we can’t pay for in any other way? It is a small but gigantic recognition that the little things done for others comes with invisible risks that are potentially huge.
Work is business no matter where we do it. Some of us are now doing it at home. Our closeness is mediated by an electronic barrier that helps us get things done with people who are miles apart. We can filter out all the bad germs over fiber optic cable that squeezes out everything but our voice and face. We let the good things through and keep the bad things out.
At home we are face to face with those we love. While love conquers all, it is hard to love all the time. With families standing toe to toe it is no surprise to see a potential rise in domestic violence. What we may not readily see and understand is how much of our anger feeds on the fear-mongering of the television news. The pandemic creates fear. But it does not respond to a punch in the nose. So, some may resort to a handy nose. Some psychologists call this phenomenon, “kicking the puppy.” The truly amazing thing is how two words like “thank you” stop punches before they even begin.
What we are really doing is showing our appreciation for the things that people do for us. Sometimes we forget, or take for granted, what we see are little gestures. We excuse our callousness by saying why should I say thanks for you doing what you are supposed to do anyway? Have we really forgotten how big a deal it really is? Have we said thank you so few times that we don’t see the impact of our words on others? Or is it that we are so wrapped up in our thoughts about ourselves that others are invisible? A simple “thanks” turns the invisible, visible.
There are hundreds of people who are doing things for us to make our time at home bearable. Musicians broadcasting music. Preachers recording sermons. People delivering meals. Storytellers and artists. The list is endless. And they are invisible. Thank you makes them visible.
At the end of the day we are all in this together. Most of the time most of us are doing great. How many times have you noticed people at the post office holding the door for others? In our community you see people waving others through the intersection first. In the big city the same behavior is an invitation to a drag race at right angles. A nod and a smile lead us toward the happy “thank you!” It really is a big deal.
Jay Sullivan
Meeker
