After
Dear Editor,
Our community suffered a tragic loss this weekend. I have only lived in Meeker for three years and did not have an opportunity to interact with the boys. I do know that in this town most of you are family or friends or both. While I am not qualified to counsel for grief or give solace through religion, I would like to pass on some thoughts that I wrote long ago as part of a memorial service for a fourth grade boy in Westminster.
He was not a kid everyone knew well. He was being raised by a single mother just scraping by. Often he was unsupervised. I came to know him through our church’s AWANA program for kids. He went to Adams Elementary school where I was volunteering for a reading program. The principal there was a kind-hearted lady who went out of her way to find counseling and organize a fund for the boy’s funeral. The family had no means to bury the boy. The school closed for an entire afternoon so that students and teachers could attend the funeral. I wrote part of the eulogy, but was unable to read it. My voice tightened and tears flowed at the thought of it. The pastor had to read it for me.
I am telling you this story only because death at a young age affects a family, school and community in a different way than the passing of old friend of 96. Teenagers in general feel that their whole life is just waiting to start. At that age I felt invincible, immortal and reckless. The sudden death of a child is horrible shock to schoolmates. It is often their first realization that they are not immortal, that life and death are not “fair.”
As family, friends, and our community struggle to cope with this loss, we will all ask the universal questions: Why this child? Why now? What God would inflict such pain on those left behind? We may not verbalize it but parents should not be forced to outlive their child. I offer this to you all, to ask God “why” is normal. Everyone seeks meaning to life and death. I also believe that expecting an immediate answer is just going to frustrate you. In my experience, His answer may not be revealed for years, or never. To quote, “His ways are not our ways.” We are not equipped to understand His infinite knowledge. Theologians have spent millenia trying to understand only the small portion that He has revealed to us through His Word.
Whatever your beliefs, I would like to offer the community one comfort. Together we can support each other, console classmates, family and friends. Stop asking God “why?” and concentrate the next weeks on what we can do! We can watch others for indications of stress and offer a shoulder. Grief bottled up can be destructive personally and to those around us. We can set aside our differences and world situations long enough to come together as a community.
Ed Peck
Meeker
