“How so?”
“Really?”
“That is not true.”
These are all indicators that at the end of a conversation, someone’s feelings will be hurt, especially if these words are spoken in a public forum. These days civility remains in short supply. One can’t be sure there are not more than a few folks in the assembled crowd who rolled their eyes, sighed, or merely shrugged their shoulders a bit. It quickly escalates.
Usually a small disagreement sparks a conflagration and is sometimes fueled by both the speaker and the listener. Any one of the three previous snippets of dialogue may have been uttered at a similar get-together with no problems, but now any benign conversation starter will fuel the fire of dissension. The speaker may be caught unaware while everyone’s hearing appears to be in good order. One’s tone of voice or body language is changing the meaning of the oral message. Whereas, previously benign words were used as soft verbal weapons. The often subtle notes of disbelief can not stay hidden. These days more of us are overreacting, as more and more people seem to feel that their authority is being challenged.
We are all worn out of meeting obligations at work or home, especially ones we are determined to continue long after the holiday season is over.
It used to be in winter most of us “holed-up,” staying inside by ourselves. It is understandable that Native Americans practiced their storytelling in winter. Once our social media use increased, quite a few people found themselves staying at home and spending endless hours on their cell phones and computers. It has been reported by some who continue to work from home a couple of days a week that this aggressive form of telling tales happens daily.
Reaching so many people on different social media sites encourages many people to rage and vent on the internet with minimal restrictions or guidance from the search engine they are allowed on the World Wide Web. Their poison is not only fueled by public outrage at so many issues lately, the boundaries of good manners and polite public behavior have extended way beyond acceptable limits.
The level of intensity of one’s public communication is becoming out of proportion. When a virtual digital cup of verbal abuse pours over the community, it explodes and becomes incendiary. Anyone familiar with the name or family becomes the subject of the gossip grapevine. Their name spreads throughout the county on the grapevine and “somebody said” becomes a constant story-starter. This type of event sets off unexpected fireworks. The underlying assumption is that even an unnamed source of information is easy enough to track on personal computers. People continue to allude to events before the word has spread. The local populace has figured it out almost before it has happened. Those of us who prefer to rely on a primary source are often out of luck. Our digital habits made us do it.
By Dolly Viscardi
