The good ‘ole days is a frequent reference for so many these days. Comparing the years that came before with a rosy glow attached, I hear so many friends and family yearn for the past as we face an uncertain future. The old-fashioned words that sprinkled the vocabularies of so many westerners made it so much fun to hear their stories, particularly the words from the personal interviews which were surrounded by quotation marks.
Many grew up in the area with families that moved here soon after settlement in the 1880’s, up to the turn of the century. Growing up in a very small rural community, located anywhere in close range of Rio Blanco County-Angora, Lay, Sunshine, Maybell, Coal Creek, Strawberry Creek, Lime Kiln, Nine Mile, or Piceance Creek, they spoke often about the days of helping everyone out when disaster struck. My lifelong friends whose families lived in rural locations all over the country still talk about growing up with that same sense of community, as if they only just left with a strong loyalty to the closest small town with the services everyone needs.
What all of us think of as “small talk” often became just as important as conversations about more serious subjects. These were not only surefire conversation, they spoke for the underlying need for community. Talking about such experiences as bad weather led them to sharing their most recent losses on their land: their homestead buildings, crops and animals, or a family member. Families led such isolated lives, going to the closest town annually for whatever reason was a reason for celebration. Their little communities were spread far and wide, yet neighbors could be more than 50 miles distant.
I noticed that much of our small talk these days when we go to town starts off pretty seriously. The tone of one’s voice can sound like a challenge to someone about their personal business, so instead of simply asking how everyone in the family is doing, it asks a completely different question and conveys suspicion or prior knowledge to the person.
“How’re you all doing?” someone asks and somehow the listener believes that the inquirer knows something about his family that should remain private.
“I drove by and noticed that darned wind got ahead of you, too!” becomes a way of interfering when a neighbor needs help.
Nowadays, daily chit-chat becomes suspect. It is no longer a given that the whims of Mother Nature can be worked into daily conversation. We all must be out of practice. I realize that the motto for surviving the struggles of the past few years has been “We are in this together,” as it made most us of feel less alone in such a time of troubles. It is no longer the case when making small talk can no longer be a quiet, valiant gesture to make all of us feel better. It is just making things worse, so as we continue to gather together, we should once again lean back into the friendly and casual tip of the hat or a lift of the index finger.
By DOLLY VISCARDI – Special to the Herald Times
