One hundred and forty-four years ago men fought and died at Milk Creek. Some men were white, some black, some red and brown. Regardless of their ethnic differences, when their blood soaked the ground, they became one, inseparable, and indivisible.
In the conference room at the library in Meeker, Colorado, men and women met on Veterans Day to remember and honor the sacrifice of those who have fought at Milk Creek and beyond. Some were white, some black, some red and brown. They held their differences close. To honor all who defend their lives, their land, their way of life, and their beliefs, this diverse group wanted to explore words that could lead to healing. It seems such a small thing, searching for words that heal, but the challenge is global. The challenge is also universal.
Unkind words lead to misunderstandings spawning grudges that last centuries spanning generations. One Ute in our group said that when he is facing a problem, he is thinking seven generations in the past and seven generations in the future about how his actions will impact his family, clan and tribe. Hurt and anger color communication in ways that lead to lies, broken promises, broken treaties and ultimately violence and death. One must be careful when thinking about how actions impact 14 generations past and future. Every word carries meaning that defines what people will do. Perhaps words spoken generations ago will cause future generations to pause and think about what words bring people together rather than the words that tear them apart.
Words are like bullets and we in just a little while were able to identify 71 words that wound. We also talked about the 61 words that heal. These words are creative. They create how people can talk to each other. Words that wound create division. Words that heal create belonging, unity and community.
At the end of the session, we asked how people felt about what we did. We used the same words, regardless of perceived differences, to describe the experience. These words included belonging, unity, together, community and caring for each other. Some even said that the time they spent with others this weekend was the best time of their lives.
Belonging is a powerful experience. Johnny captured the essence of this experience when he said that when others called him “half-breed” it hurt. When he is called “brother” he feels good about belonging. Words that cause pain in this way included: deny, destroy, fear, divide, gone, invisible, newcomer, n***er, outsider, savage, stone-cold, wetback, white woman, who do you think you are, you don’t get it, you don’t have enough money, and you people. These words carry two destructive impulses. First, name-calling puts labels on people and pigeonholes them in places they don’t belong. Secondly, these words tell us how to hurt others. Deny, destroy, fearmonger, disappear and outsider are examples of words that cut us off from one another. Knowing how to destroy others is not a creative act, it ignores the humanity common to all of us. If we want creative power, we need to find words that unite us all.
J.B. Sullivan Photo
A pencil portrait of Johnny Taylor Valdez by J.B. Sullivan
The power of creativity is found in words like; accept, bless, care, co-mingling, compassion, empathy, friendship, forgiveness, inclusion, kindness, openness, question, and together. These words tell us what to do to heal hurt. These words are also free. They don’t cost us anything to use them as best we can.
One healing word can medicate many hurtful words. Repetition is also important. It is not enough to say it once. Many applications may be needed for healing to begin. As creative people whose intent is to heal, we mix and match healing words against hurtful ones. We intend to overwhelm pain with goodness. In the words of the participants, “Together we can!”
Two lists of words created and shared give us a path forward. These words reveal thoughts that have a direct intent of harm and help. A second glance at these words reveals a way of communicating that brings us together, solves problems and creates an opportunity to heal. We have created a way forward. Out of a melting pot of ethnicities, experiences and cultures we have a way of talking to each other that gets us to work on the problems we share. Together we own these words.
Regardless of our differences, when we work together to find a way of communicating, we are one, inseparable, and indivisible.
BY JOHNNY TAYLOR VALDEZ AND J.B. SULLIVAN, PH.D.
Special to the Herald Times
