Opinion

OPED: “It’s not rocket surgery!”

RBC | “M” words are some of the best. “Magnificent!” “Marvelous!” “Magical!” I even like “millennial.” Shocking, I know.

A new favorite “m” word of mine is “malaphor.” Ever heard of them? A malaphor, according to yourdictionary.com is “an idiom blend: an error in which two similar figures of speech are merged, producing a nonsensical result.” It’s actually a combination of two “m” words (even better!)—metaphor and malaprop. It was coined by a man named Lawrence Harrison in 1976. He attended lots and lots of bureaucratic meetings, and he heard some real gems. If you’ve ever attended meetings (a much less favorite “m” word), you can easily understand how malaphors are created.

Bureaucrats aren’t the only culprits, however. My penchant for saying whatever comes to mind often ends in delightful blends of awkwardness, talking way too fast, and plenty of misnomers and malaphors.

Lots of them. I’ve said quite a few, and they always make for a good laugh after the appropriate amount of cringing and wishing I could disappear with an “Alakazam!” and a puff of smoke. And maybe some glitter.

I won’t waste any more space here when we can let malaphors do the work.

Here’s my favorites:

It’s not rocket surgery!

We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it!

Put that in your cake and eat it.

I think you’re barking up the wrong end of the stick.

When the cat’s away, do as the Romans do.

Until the cows come home to roost.

He smokes like a fish.

I don’t want to toot my own hat here.

Roll up your elbows and get to work.

Let’s not chase a dead horse.

It’s a vicious triangle.

They’re not the sharpest egg in the attic.

Nip it in the butt.

– Until the pigs freeze over.

Let’s all get our ducks on the same page. (This is a definite favorite.)

Do you know which idioms these malaphors come from? What are some of your favorites?

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Join the Meeker High School Drama department for their production of Emma TONIGHT for opening day! Performances through Saturday at 7pm. Tickets are $5 and is a family friendly production.
Join the Meeker High School Drama department for their production of Emma TONIGHT for opening day! Performances through Saturday at 7pm. Tickets are $5 and is a family friendly production.
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MHS senior Ryan Sullivan pitching for the Cowboys against Steamboat. Coming off a series of wins against Monte Vista, Steamboat and Cedaredge, the Cowboys play Grand Valley on Saturday, April 20. RHS junior Marcos Quintana pitching for the Panthers. The Panthers play the Aspen Skiers today at home following wins against Dove Creek on April 13.
MHS senior Ryan Sullivan pitching for the Cowboys against Steamboat. Coming off a series of wins against Monte Vista, Steamboat and Cedaredge, the Cowboys play Grand Valley on Saturday, April 20. RHS junior Marcos Quintana pitching for the Panthers. The Panthers play the Aspen Skiers today at home following wins against Dove Creek on April 13.
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It's that time again, another Thursday full of news! Make sure you grab your copy and stay up to date! 
Prefer the digital edition? Subscribe today on our website and choose between print and online only, whatever is better for you! Check us out at ht1885.com/subscribe! 
As always, we are so grateful for all the continued support from our amazing community!
It's that time again, another Thursday full of news! Make sure you grab your copy and stay up to date! Prefer the digital edition? Subscribe today on our website and choose between print and online only, whatever is better for you! Check us out at ht1885.com/subscribe! As always, we are so grateful for all the continued support from our amazing community!
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