I was reading a very enlightening article about old computers and when to discard them in favor of a newer, greater, sparkly desktop. The more I read, the more I was convinced that most of the article could be applied to my body as well as my computer.
The first indication that the end is near: “Booting up your computer takes longer than normal.” It seems like every year I live, the shoe strings on my boots move farther away from my fingers. It could be that my arms are getting shorter. I can’t stretch to the floor or even to my ankles.
Second indicator: “It struggles with software updates.” Believe me! I cry in anguish every time there is an automatic update on my phone. I just know some new way has been added to get me frustrated. Microsoft wants me to upgrade to their new AI assistant. I won’t even admit there is intelligent life on Earth, I certainly don’t want some Artificial Intelligence telling me I am an idiot; I have a granddaughter for that. She laughs when I tell her about my first “flip phone.” It just made person-to-person voice phone calls and that’s all it did. No news, no blogs, no social media. I could care less what the Kardashian’s latest outrage is.
Third: “No matter what you’ve tried, it runs slowly.” Forget running — I can’t even walk as fast as three senior ladies on our Meeker High School track who have had multiple joint replacements.
Fourth: “The hard drive seems to run constantly or makes unusual noise, even when the computer is inactive.” I am going to interpret that as sleeping less and getting up making sounds like Rice Krispies cereal (snap, crackle and pop).
Fifth: “The computer’s fan makes more noise than usual or runs on constantly.” I am admitting nothing!
Sixth: “Unusual or persistent error messages appear.” My wife, Tracy is always observing my many errors, which are frequent.
Seventh: “The computer or applications crash frequently.” Please don’t tell Kevin Amack at State Farm! All in all, I am doing OK except needing a memory upgrade and a new cupholder. That’s what I use my computer’s compact disc holder for, a cupholder. Another technology my granddaughter has never heard of.
Tell Tracy, not to trade me in for newer laptop!
Source: Jason R. Rich for AARP; Eddie Matos, DELL computers; Albert, who says I should pay more attention. Granddaughters everywhere.
By ED PECK – Special to the Herald times
