Columns, Opinion

Argh, mateys

I almost missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day! I was at the Meeker Library looking over Mike’s shoulder when a banner flashed across his screen. It read, “National Talk Like a Pirate Day, Sept. 19.” Yes, it was another one of those faux holidays. Thousands of these “National Days” have popped up obscuring the really important ones like National Donut Day, my favorite. Apparently two guys in Oregon had nothing better to do than communicate all day in 1995 with phrases ending in ARRRGH. The joke grew each year to include many of their friends. In 2002 they asked newspaper columnist Dave Barry to become a spokesman for a fake Talk Like A Pirate Day. He wrote a column and launched it into national prominence. Now we have an excuse for odd people dressing up in black, putting on an eye patch, attaching a stuffed parrot on their shoulders and saying “shiver me timbers,” which means nothing to me at all. 

Real seagoing pirates have been around since second century China, but the accepted Golden Age of Pirates is about 1650-1730. Maritime shipping between Europe, the American colonies and the Caribbean islands was active and vulnerable. Trade ships were easy prey for well-armed pirate ships captained by pirates like Edward Teach, known as Blackbeard. Legend has it that he tied lit fuses into strands of his beard before battle. His battle flag had a skeleton holding a spear. Pirates were outlaws, capturing cargo, robbing passengers, and generally not nice people. The sentence for pirating was public hanging. The label “privateer” was the same job, only it had the sanction of government during war. They had a commission that encouraged attacking merchant ships flying the enemy’s flag. I doubt the privateers were any more selective than pirates, but fencing the loot was easier in the right ports. Fictional pirates have become popular. The book “Treasure Island” was published in 1883 and adapted by Disney in film and eventually inspired the Disneyland attraction, “Pirates of the Caribbean.” The ride was updated in 1997, removing some politically incorrect aspects. I have to stop and ponder: why bother trying to make a bloodthirsty, pillaging, lawless pirate politically correct? It updated again in 2006 to incorporate Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack character. 

Of course, what would Peter Pan be without his adversary Captain Hook? Dustin Hoffman made the best Captain Hook, I think. Next year, let’s all celebrate National Talk Like a Pirate Day. We can have a party with a cheese ball shaped like a cannon ball, served up on “Polly-wanna-cracker” Ritz crackers. Maybe we can make someone walk the plank into Lake Avery. However, that could disturb some fisherman who might be using the Captain’s hook.


By ED PECK – Special to the Herald times

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  • Jake Blazon at bat for the Meeker Cowboys. The MHS team brought home two wins against Olathe and lost two against the North Fork Miners. The location for this weekend’s games has not been announced due to weather and field conditions. Read the full story online at ht1885.com.
  • The 2024 Meeker High School boys basketball team held their awards banquet last week. Jace Mobley was named Player of the Western Slope League and all-conference, Ryan Sullivan all-conference, Jonathon Fitzgibbons all-conference, Ethan Quinn honorable mention all-conference, Jacob Simonsen honorable mention all conference. Mobley will play in All State games. Coach Klark Kindler was named Western Slope Coach of the Year. Left to right: Bryan Rosas, Simonsen, Quinn, Fitzgibbons, Mobley and Sullivan.
  • It's that time again! Another edition of great local news stories is 
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Need a copy? Signing up is fast and easy! Visit our website at ht1885.com/subscribe to get a copy sent to your door every week! 
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  • It’s getting late, do you know where your kids are? Read all the Rio Happenings for this week in print or online at ht1885.com.
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Rio Blanco County and the White River and Douglas Creek Conservation Districts are still asking for your help to identify additional hatch-outs of crickets so that control efforts can be put in place. The success of the program will highly depend upon local landowners and the public helping to locate crickets as soon as they hatch.  See last week’s paper for a list of ways to help or contact the County Weed & Pest District at 970-878-9670 or the Conservation District office at 970-878-9838 with any questions. Website: www.WhiteRiverCD.com
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Jake Blazon at bat for the Meeker Cowboys. The MHS team brought home two wins against Olathe and lost two against the North Fork Miners. The location for this weekend’s games has not been announced due to weather and field conditions. Read the full story online at ht1885.com.
Jake Blazon at bat for the Meeker Cowboys. The MHS team brought home two wins against Olathe and lost two against the North Fork Miners. The location for this weekend’s games has not been announced due to weather and field conditions. Read the full story online at ht1885.com.
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The 2024 Meeker High School boys basketball team held their awards banquet last week. Jace Mobley was named Player of the Western Slope League and all-conference, Ryan Sullivan all-conference, Jonathon Fitzgibbons all-conference, Ethan Quinn honorable mention all-conference, Jacob Simonsen honorable mention all conference. Mobley will play in All State games. Coach Klark Kindler was named Western Slope Coach of the Year. Left to right: Bryan Rosas, Simonsen, Quinn, Fitzgibbons, Mobley and Sullivan.
The 2024 Meeker High School boys basketball team held their awards banquet last week. Jace Mobley was named Player of the Western Slope League and all-conference, Ryan Sullivan all-conference, Jonathon Fitzgibbons all-conference, Ethan Quinn honorable mention all-conference, Jacob Simonsen honorable mention all conference. Mobley will play in All State games. Coach Klark Kindler was named Western Slope Coach of the Year. Left to right: Bryan Rosas, Simonsen, Quinn, Fitzgibbons, Mobley and Sullivan.
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It's that time again! Another edition of great local news stories is 
🐰 Hopping 🐰 your way this morning! Catch up on everything thats 🐣 hatching 🐣 in Rio Blanco County this week.
Need a copy? Signing up is fast and easy! Visit our website at ht1885.com/subscribe to get a copy sent to your door every week! 
We appreciate all your continued support!
It's that time again! Another edition of great local news stories is 🐰 Hopping 🐰 your way this morning! Catch up on everything thats 🐣 hatching 🐣 in Rio Blanco County this week. Need a copy? Signing up is fast and easy! Visit our website at ht1885.com/subscribe to get a copy sent to your door every week! We appreciate all your continued support!
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Rio Blanco County and the White River and Douglas Creek Conservation Districts are still asking for your help to identify additional hatch-outs of crickets so that control efforts can be put in place. The success of the program will highly depend upon local landowners and the public helping to locate crickets as soon as they hatch.  See last week’s paper for a list of ways to help or contact the County Weed & Pest District at 970-878-9670 or the Conservation District office at 970-878-9838 with any questions. Website: www.WhiteRiverCD.com
Mormon crickets have hatched near Rangely. They were all sighted on BLM land north of Hwy. 64 near the junction of CR 96 and CR 1, down a dirt road near the Moffat County line. The picture shown was taken yesterday by Mary Meinen from Rangely. She says the crickets are about the size of a ladybug (less than 1/2”). Some of them are actually yellow in color but most of them are darker. They are milling around and getting ready to start moving soon. Note: Photo is not to scale. Rio Blanco County and the White River and Douglas Creek Conservation Districts are still asking for your help to identify additional hatch-outs of crickets so that control efforts can be put in place. The success of the program will highly depend upon local landowners and the public helping to locate crickets as soon as they hatch. See last week’s paper for a list of ways to help or contact the County Weed & Pest District at 970-878-9670 or the Conservation District office at 970-878-9838 with any questions. Website: www.WhiteRiverCD.com
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Meeker FFA Chapter members competed at the District Leadership Development Event in Craig, Colorado, this month. Top row from left to right: Eva Scritchfield, Charlie Rogers, Alan Rivera, Trent Sanders, Koy Weber, Orion Musser, Said Rodriguez, Carlos Carrillo, Aidan Tapia, Hayden Garcia, Tristan Rollins, Mathew Willey, Quentin Simpson. Middle row: Sidney Keetch, Aurora Stallings, Sydnie Ross, Ava Nay, Lili Piper, Leah Wood. Bottom Row: Jaicee Simmons, Kailynn Watson, Cody Richardson, Kayla Castillo, Braydin Raley, Autumn Stallings, Aimee Shults, Emily Hamm. Read the full story online at ht1885.com.
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