As a veteran Boy Scout, I can tell you that any camping experience can be rated on the quality of food consumed, how many blisters on your heel, and the availability of dry firewood. A rainy day spent in a leaky tent with no chance of lighting a campfire can really limit your gourmet choices of dinner.
I remember my backup plan was always a cold can of pork and beans eaten directly out of the can with my official Boy Scout eating utensil — the fork, spoon and knife nested together in an official pouch, taking up the least amount of space. This was before the invention of the plastic Spork. Most Boy Scout equipment was cloned off WWII Army surplus stuff.
It was ever so much more fun (and cheaper) to spend hours wandering JAX Army Surplus shopping for an army canteen. This was long before army surplus stores morphed into high-end outdoor sporting goods Meccas selling $4,000 mountain bikes and hydration packs. True army surplus stores offered old radio equipment on dirty shelves, walkie-talkies the size of a bread loaf, artillery shells that I pretended still held gunpowder, parachutes hanging from the ceiling, canvas mukluks, and empty ammo boxes of every size. Anyway, I have meandered off on another rabbit trail. That happens a lot in retirement.
As a young boy backpacking 50 miles into the wilderness, I had to pack very light foods that could be cooked in an old coffee can with a coat hanger serving as a handle. The can doubled as a noise maker when hooked to the outside of my backpack. I was always told that making noise scared the bears away. It must have worked, because I never ran into a bear, wolverine, or a cookware salesman on the trail. When our Scout troop was camping in a farmer’s field, we had no limits on what we could bring because we only had to haul it a short distance from the tailgate to the tent. We even trucked in the firewood.
Contrary to popular belief, burning cowpies just doesn’t have the same western flavor as burning buffalo chips like our pioneer ancestors did crossing Kansas. By the way, crossing Kansas Territory walking alongside a covered wagon was not fun! The joke goes: An Indian Scout reported to Custer just before Little Big Horn. “Colonel, I have good news and bad news.” Custer said, “Give me the bad news.” The Scout proceeded to tell Custer, “We are surrounded by Indians and will be dead by morning.” Custer says, “OK, what is the good news?” The scout replied, “We don’t have to return back through Kansas.” I wonder if Custer had his food cooked over buffalo chips?
Anyway, stationary camping allowed for us to have more variety in food choices. Most opted for canned foods like Chef Boyardee spaghetti, Campbell beans, Vienna sausages in a can, steak tartare (raw beef when we couldn’t start the cooking fire in the rain) and marshmallows. While others fried their hamburgers and hot dogs, I tried to up the game by cooking the fanciest thing I could, beef stews, roasts, baked potatoes, rice and beans were some of my favorites.
It is amazing what can be cooked in your mom’s old Dutch oven over a fire. I have seen cooks make five-course meals by stacking four Dutch ovens and putting hot charcoals on the lids. My claim to fame was making a French apple pie complete with criss-cross designs on a campout. I had to share with everyone in the troop, which left me with about two pieces of apple after two hours of cooking. Let that be a lesson to you. Ed’s Words of Wisdom: Fame is fickle and won’t fill your belly. (Oh, and don’t pick up fresh cowpies to burn).
By ED PECK
