In the last few weeks, we have been talking about how to have those precious conversations with your loved ones. Hearing and experiencing the wonderful tales of yore through the eyes of your dear ones is precious. Having those conversations should never be just a one-time thing. Once you begin opening that door, your loved one may want to add to their stories when you see them next.
Of course, reflecting on the past often lends itself to planning for the future. What adventures do they still want to do? Sometimes this conversation can lead to the creation of amazing additional adventures. It may result in a road trip to memorable locations, attending an event, or planning a Girl’s Day! You never know if you don’t ask.
Discussing plans for the future is a great segue into finding out what they may want to happen when they pass. The time of loss is not the time to be making big decisions. We encourage everyone to have this conversation with their loved ones. Even more so, we encourage people to get a pre-need. Meet with a mortuary professional, share your final wishes with them, document them, and pay for it if you can. You can even buy a pre-need policy and pay over time. That way, your family will not have to wonder and struggle over making the right decisions about what you wanted while experiencing the sadness and grief of loss. It is one final act of love.
If you are not recording those conversations with a recorder or video camera, it is a really good idea to write things down after the fact to retain those memories for those who come after you. Use whatever method is most comfortable for both of you. Some people purchase those little blank-page journals and make notes after each visit. Others use technology to store the notes from each visit. You can even add pictures, maps and drawings. The important part is to keep the records. The things that are discussed, the stories, and the adventures will help you appreciate their journey and will allow you to share their legacy with those around you for the next century.
Your mission now, should you choose to accept it, is to make the time and find the opportunities to learn all you can about your precious friends and family members. Their early memories, family trees, school years, career experiences, accomplishments, faith, legacy, culture and so much more, are the greatest treasure we receive from our loved ones. We give them the gift of time, interest and opportunity to share. And we give generations yet to come an understanding of who our loved ones were as people.
By TERESIA REED
Special to the Herald Times