I spent a few days last week near San Clemente, California, on a quick family vacation. We missed Tropical Storm Hilary and a minor earthquake by mere hours. (I would be perfectly fine never hearing the word “unprecedented” ever again.)
Every trip to a new place has a breathtaking moment of “I could live here!” That moment usually wears off pretty quickly. If it doesn’t and you relocate, you’re likely to discover the logic behind the saying: “It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
Taking a step away from actual physical locations, let’s consider some other “places” that we might visit — voluntarily or not — that are terrible places to dwell.
Denial. We deny change and new things and anything that makes us in the least bit uncomfortable. We deny facts, truths, and reason when it opposes what we want to believe.
Delusion. Delusional people go beyond just denying reality, they make up new realities to suit themselves. And there are plenty of high-functioning delusional folks out there who’ve figured out how to make a lot of money by convincing other people their delusion is real.
Victimhood. Victimhood dwellers choose to take zero responsibility for themselves, their actions, or their future because of bad things that have happened to them.
Resentment. Possibly a gateway drug to the other three. Resentment looks like a warm and welcoming environment in which to find relief from hurt feelings, disappointment, and anger. But it’s a lot like the witch in Hansel and Gretel… resentment invites you in, fattens you up with consoling words about how mistreated you are, and then gobbles you up for supper. Don’t go there.
Regret. Every one of us has something to regret, and that’s fine, but living there is a recipe for disaster. Forgive yourself and move along.
By NIKI TURNER
